The May/December Romance: A Study In Woman’s Perspectives

Forget about the fact that their wedding photo looks like a still from the creepiest Cialis commercial ever.

Forget about the fact that, unless she’s the white female Greg Oden, there’s no way in f*cking hell that this chick is 16 years old. (I’m guessing 24 at the youngest and 32 at the oldest.)

Forget about the fact that an ABC news report about this story contained the following quote: ”…Although Stodden’s father is four years younger than his new son-in-law…”

Forget about the fact that this could very well just be a publicity stunt to get buzz for a new reality show called “No Way In F*cking Hell”

And, forget about the fact that I spent at least 15 minutes yesterday trying to figure out who this guy played on Lost. (I finally broke down and just checked IMDB)

No, the most interesting part about fact that 51 year old actor Doug Hutchinson’s marriage to 16 year old (Ha!) aspiring country singer Courtney Alexis Stodden is the conversations about “appropriate” May/December romance that segued from it.

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***And, before I go any further, I have to say that although this relationship pushes the creepy limits to an extreme, I wouldn’t go as far as to call Hutchinson or men like them pedophiles. Pedophiles are attracted to prepubescent children, not fully-developed 16 year olds. (Or, in this case, 26 year olds masquerading as fully-developed 16 year olds)***

For instance, the typical 23 year woman might not have a huge problem dating a youthful, successful, attractive, and charming 34 year old man. In fact, when just generally describing guys in that age range, many use words with positive connotations like “mature” and “confident.”

But, when asked about men their own age who date 18 and 19 year olds, many of them consider these men to be immature, lacking confidence, and just generally wack; conveniently overlooking the fact that the reason for this wackness — these guys are interested in women much younger than them — could also be assigned to those “mature” and “confident” 34 year olds interested in them.

Hmm.

Thinking that this was a mindset that women grew out of as they got older, I secretly tested a few of my more mature (28 to 35 year old) female friends a few days ago. (Yes. I do random tests on all my friends. And yes, I know this does seem a tad creepy. Thanks for asking, though)

I asked each if they’d date a man like George Clooney or Blair Underwood, and they each said “Yes” quicker than a crackheads heartbeat. I think one of them even broke her finger on her keyboard because she was replying so intensely.

Yesterday, I told each of them an anecdote about a 33 year old friend of mine (“Nate”), and I matter-of-factly mentioned that he had a 21 year old girlfriend. The Nate clowning session began before I could even finish the story.

From surprisingly cutting shots at his manhood “He must have a tiny d*ck. Thats the only reason why a dude would date a woman that young” to depressing resignation “See? That’s why I can’t get a man. All y’all niggas are dating bitches in diapers,” the responses ran the gamut of emotions. I didn’t even remind them that they each said they’d date a 50 year old man a few days earlier (Although, each will probably read this entry and remember. Sorry  ), instead choosing to just let them vent.

Now, I realize that my findings were completely anecdotal. There are many women who wouldn’t be ok with dating a much older man, and there are also quite a few women who wouldn’t bat an eye after hearing that a man her age was dating a woman much younger.

But, my half-assed “test” just added more evidence to a theory I already had. As far as women are concerned, the May/December romance is A-ok…as long as they happen to be at the “right” end.

Anyway, falks, I’m curious: how do you feel about the May/December romance? Have you ever been in one? If not, would you do it?

Also, am I the only one who thinks that women in general tend to be a tad hypocritical when discussing these types of relationships? (I know I’m not, but I had to ask anyway. Y’all are my friends, so I have to test y’all too)